Tuesday, March 12, 2013

More Than All The Stars

During the 5 years that I waited for Mia, the stars took on an important role for me. I'd look up at them every night as I stood on the deck during Griffey's last potty break before bed.

It was a place I felt really connected to Mia. I knew she was eventually going to be somewhere on the other side of the world... but under those same stars. That gave me comfort. The stars helped me to find some peace in the insanity of the wait.

I said lots of prayers for her there. I prayed she would be healthy. I prayed she'd be referred to me very young so that she wouldn't spend much time in the orphanage. I prayed I'd experience as many milestones with her as possible. I prayed that a caretaker would love her. Because I knew she'd be better cared for if someone loved her. 

I imagined what she'd look like, what her personality would be like, how our life together would be.

And I talked to her. Well, I actually talked to the stars as if they were her. But it seemed to help.

So eventually, professing my love out into the sky for the hope and dream of my daughter evolved into me saying
"I love you more than all the stars in the sky".

I said that a lot over those 5 years. 

After we came home and read "Guess How Much I Love You" where Big Nutbrown Hare told Little Nutbrown Hare that he loved him "to the moon and back" it changed again.

"I love you to the moon and back. And more than all the stars in the sky. Forever and ever and always."

That's what I've said to Mia for the past 21 months just before her last kiss goodnight.

It became our thing. Our special little catch phrase. I knew someday she'd probably repeat it after having heard it over and over. 

I was surprised to find that happened much sooner than I expected. 

For the past 3 nights, my almost 2 1/2 yr old has broken out in a big grin when I start. Then she joins in and repeats the last of it. She says "stars in the sky. Forever and ever and always."

I tried not to let her see me cry the first night. The second night my heart grew ten sizes. And by the third night, I knew more surely than I ever had before what true love and happiness really feels like.

And I thanked my lucky stars for it.


k1 said...

too, too, too sweet. So happy for you two.

Briana's Mom said...

That is SOOOO beautiful! Warms my heart!!!

dawn said...

That just made me cry. The best moments in our lives are created by the smallest people

Shannon said...

That was a gorgeously beautiful post! Now my just applied mascara is going to run! So worth it though! Love, love, love!

hopefulcc said...

You are an AWESOME mama and you are each a gift to the other. Thanks for such a wonderful post. Now excuse me while I go find a tissue....

Aus said...

Great stuff Krista - it's the same stars and moon our kids saw every night!

hugs - aus and co.

Paula said...

Precious beyond words!

Catherine said...

You are both so blessed! I love that she's now repeating your special phrase together!

4D said...

Special words and special moments.

Keep smilin!

Anonymous said...

Those were my sentiments exactly while waiting for both Mimi and Mei Mei. Did you notice that in Mia's referal picture is not only the penguins that you love but stars as well ?

Princess D said...

I love this, because I do it too :)

Robin said...

So beautiful. xox

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